Ask "What", not "Why"

Self-awareness is an important skill. Personally, I believe having a healthy self-awareness helps you to tap on your strengths and be able to work well with others. I had always thought of self-awareness as a singular concept that comes only with experience until I chanced upon the perspective shifting article. The author posited that self-awareness can be developed and that it is not a single truth.

There are 2 types of self awareness; namely an internal awareness & external awareness. Internal awareness refers to understanding what motivates us and why we would feel or think a certain way. External awareness refers to understanding how the people around view us. According to the research conducted, the author concluded that being highly self-aware internally does not necessarily equate to having a high external self-awareness. For those who are more introspective may tend to focus more on what goes on internally, without checking in with the external factors mindfully. Highly self-aware people also tend to value both equally and are consciously balancing between the two. I came to a pleasant realization that self-awareness can be developed intentionally and continuously.

The author also posited that leaders are generally less self aware and it tends to worsen the "higher" you go. No one in the right frame of mind would dare approach their direct supervisors and leaders to provide feedback, unless the workplace culture and the leadership consciously make it safe for people to speak out. Forward-thinking leaders have recognized that and we've seen companies adopting "whistleblowing" or "tip-offs anonymous" platforms. Workplace culture is key and it starts with the leadership. A culture that encourages and recognizes people's voice and choice will allow leadership to become more aware internally and externally. However, the converse is also true. A leader who regards silence as consensus has already lost the crowd.

How can we then develop self-awareness? I especially like how the author recommends that we start asking "What" and not "why". For example, asking ourselves "what has gone wrong" or "what we can do better" is much more productive than investigating the reasons to answer the "why". Most of the time, we have no answers to the "whys" and may never have any explanation for what had happened. Therefore, instead of dwelling on what we cannot control and have no answers to, time and energy is better spent on asking ourselves what we can do next. Asking "what" keeps us objective and clear-headed, while asking "why" fills us with confusion and fickle unpredictable emotions that reaps no benefit.

https://hbr-org.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/hbr.org/amp/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it