Speaking Up With Impact

It is no wonder my conversations with my superiors are a hit-and-miss as compared to some of my colleagues who have the ear of the leaders. I've either been unrealistically optimistic or simply approached them without a well thought out plan at hand. My impulsivity often gets the better of me. In this article, the author shares the 3 things we should do before having crucial conversations.

Assuming there is clarity on why the conversation must be had, the first thing to do is to anticipate that it will not be an easy conversation. Expect the process to be trying. According to the authors, research shows the likelihood of success increases when we have a more realistic expectation that the process will be challenging. This is based on the pretext that the purpose of the conversation is sound and well-established.

Secondly, we need to be sensitive to the social nuances of speaking up, especially to our superiors. Our responses are socially driven by status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. This means that if the wrong buttons are pushed, it may evoke negative "flight or fight" responses which would be counter productive. Therefore, managing your superiors are important. Learn to communicate in their preferred style, know what makes them tick and plan the conversations in that manner.

Thirdly, plan and anticipate the various possible scenarios and prepare counter proposals to each. The author shares that when we are put on the spot and become "immobilized", uncertainty festers and this marks the beginning of the end of the crucial conversation. When we are well-prepared for "what-if" situations, we can deliver with more impact.

https://hbr-org.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/hbr.org/amp/2019/03/how-to-speak-up-when-it-matters