The Loneliness in Leadership

The article caught my attention. It was timely. It was only in March when I decided to step down from the leadership roles which I've helmed for the past 7 years. Hence, I resonated with the article, especially regarding Interpersonal risk.

First and foremost, I am far from capable, although I think I have a slightly better EQ due to upbringing and personality. When in doubt, I would unabashedly consult the brilliant and generous ones, who would willingly allow me to tap on their intelligence and I made sure they knew that I was sincerely thankful for their valuable insights. They had a knack for simplifying complicated matters.

For me personally, the trigger to step down, apart from really needing a break, was the growing "loneliness" in leadership. I was fortunate to join a school with consistently high teacher collegiality. Teachers sincerely supported one another and enjoyed working together. Many of them had forged deep friendships, after having been in the same school for at least 15 years despite changes in leadership. I was also blessed to have met the best mentors one could ever ask for. However, there was a downside to such a culture. Succession planning was tough. Very few wanted to take on leadership roles because we cherished the friendships and the majority of us didn't want the promotion. To us, teaching in itself was fulfilling and we found joy in the classrooms.

My being in leadership for the past 7 years was at the expense of having honest chit chat sessions with fellow colleagues. There are just fewer things one can be open about between a leader and a teacher. I guess that has gnawed at me constantly since the day I become a leader. I had to watch what I say or joke about and had to constantly manage the tension of being in middle management. It goes against the grain of my personality. I have always enjoyed sincere, open and honest fellowship. I do miss the times when others would feel relaxed and open in my presence, instead of having to feel like they need to be ever ready and watch what they say.

I do enjoy leadership and I respect leaders who are as stable as a rock despite the challenges they face daily. As for me, I look forward to having relaxed & unencumbered conversations with my friends once again.

https://hbr.org/2020/12/why-capable-people-are-reluctant-to-lead?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=hbr&utm_source=linkedin&tpcc=orgsocial_edit